Meridy

When was your original diagnosis?
January 23, 2008

When did the cancer return and how?
While undergoing chemo from March 2008 - July 2008, I had an MRI which showed "lights" on the liver. After I finished chemo, I had a liver biopsy which confirmed these were cancerous and so I assume I had the metastacies simultaneously with the breast tumour.

How did having the cancer return affect you? (Mentally, physically, emotionally)
After being told by the oncologist I had a life expectancy of between 1 and 2 years, I was stunned for about two weeks, and couldn't stop thinking every waking minute that I was going to die. This affected my plans for the future, my interest in current events, my ability to concentrate or care about trivial matters.

What changes have you made in your life since the cancer returned, if any?
After the initital shock, my optimism returned and I have spoken to some people who are living with metastatic cancer, much the same as mine (breast to liver), who have been maintaining a good quality of life for 4 or more years. I now find that I am not constantly thinking about it. I am also devouring books by Bernie S. Siegel MD, about the mind/body connection. I think his approach of self healing - positive thinking, visualisation, guided imagery, avoidance of stress, relaxation - and partnering with the medical profession, is the route I believe is possible for me to follow, rather than making huge changes to my diet or lifestyle. I am undertaking sessions with a Social Worker at the Cancer Centre. I fully intend to discuss all options with my oncologist, rather than accepting the severe medical solution, and I am not accepting the prognosis but am determined to be one of the people at the good end of the spectrum.

Where do you draw your strength from? How do you look at life today?
I get my strength from my friends and the goodness that people display, especially those who have been on this journey. It is easy for me to be positive today because I feel well; it is harder to be optimistic when dealing with side-effects.

I have a one month plan, a one year plan and a five year plan. I try to stay very focussed on the next goal - a trip to Florida in February, a trip to Italy in September.

Do you have any advice for others with a recurrence?
Read Bernie Siegel's books. Know that cancer has become a chronic disease, and patients can be treated for years, thus buying time for a cure, or better/kinder treatment options and procedures. Be kind to yourself, do not repress emotions - find an outlet (counselling, support group). Do not give up hope.

Anything else to add?
A quote I read in my new best friend's (Bernie) book: "When I found out I was going to die, I began to live."