Brenda

When was your original diagnosis?
Dec. 18, 1997

When did the cancer return and how?
May 1999 - another lump same breast. Sept 1999 - lump on chest wall after mastectomy and while still on chemo

How did having the cancer return affect you? (Mentally, physically, emotionally)
Second reoccurence was more devastating than the first as I had done everything I had to do - chemo & radiation - and handled it well. The third reoccurence was less devastating and more of "what do I need to do now" and "please tell me there is a treatment you can offer me".

What changes have you made in your life since the cancer returned, if any?
More positive outlook and not so stresed about the things in life that are not life-threatening. Regardless of the weather - I am always happy to see each day.

Where do you draw your strength from?
Internally - I always asked myself what would be more difficult to handle. I am very thankful that it was not my children that diagnosed - that would alot worse. It was not my 14 year old daughter's hair that was falling out. I was always thankful that I was not in pain like so many people with other conditions/diagnoses.

How do you look at life today?
Life is to be respected and lived. Live in the moment and not in the future. Sometimes we miss the present as we are striving to get to the future where we think it will so much "greener". We know where we are now but not where we will be tomorrow. Don't miss today.

Do you have any advice for others with a recurrence?
First, give yourself time to grieve and do not feel guilty. If you do not grieve you cannot move on. You also need the time to absorb and sort it all through in your mind. People cannot do that for you. Tell well meaning people that you need some alone time to get used to the whole ordeal.

Secondly, do not get stuck in the grieving phase. Do not feel you have to continue grieving - move on to helping yourself. Do what you have to do to get your life back. Remember this is your life and if you are going to go through chemo and radiation again, it is because you want your life back. When you are unwell, rest and ask for help. When you are feeling better - live your life and continue to do for yourself. Think positively and live everyday as if it is your last (although it isn't).

Anything else to add?
Cancer is a very devastating disease but it does not need to be a life sentence. The support you can receive from other breast cancer survivors is amazing - these are wonderful strong women who are the best people one can ever know. Use their strength and support until you are strong enough to help other women. Do not ever give up.