Wednesday, January 28, 2009
My decision to take the first-best medicine
My oncologist once said she'd worry if my tumour marker count doubled, but not if it just crept up point by point. Well, it quadrupled over a little more than six weeks. And a CT scan confirmed that the cancer has spread beyond my vertebrae and femur. It looks like the endocrine therapy I've been on for a while - the "mouse poop" shots and Tamoxifen, which together moved me into hot flash city - isn't working so well.
So a decision had to be made. Do I try another hormone therapy such as an aromatase inhibitor, which tries to further eliminate the availability of estrogen to my cancer cells, or do I skip that and head directly to chemo therapy?
Given that my cancer hasn't responded that well to hormone therapy, an aromatase inhibitor is a possibility, but unlikely to be effective. And given that my cancer is chemo-naive (I wish I could go back to being chemo-naive), walloping it with a combination chemotherapy might halt the spread of cancer cells and actually reduce the tumour burden I now have.
I've always had mixed feelings about chemotherapy. For that matter, I 've a lways had mixed feelings about taking any sort of medication. But chemotherapy carries with it an especially large amount of baggage. I don't like the idea of beating down my immune system just when I need it most. I don't relish the injection of stuff that's so toxic, health-care providers have to protect themselves from being in contact with it. And I don't think too positively about the chance of experiencing intense side effects that could well make me weaker, not stronger, in the face of a terminal illness.
I've also read a lot of journal articles that suggest chemotherapy often doesn't significantly prolong the lives of those of us with metastatic breast cancer.
Researchers in Canada and Australia have come up with a decision aid for people facing these sorts of choices. It is in the form of a workbook in which information and questions are presented, and a decision-making structure is suggested. This structure is based on identifying positive factors, such as the possibility of living longer (and why this is important), an improvement of symptoms and a sense of empowerment in terms of doing something to actively fight the disease. One's responses to these factors can be weighed against what many of us see as the negative aspects of chemotherapy - such as uncomfortable and sometimes dangerous side effects, needing tests and having to go to the hospital frequently - and the fact that there is no guarantee the treatment will actually work.
While I haven't seen the actual workbook (it is still being evaluated in anticipation of its adoption by at least some oncologists), I have read a discussion about it in the journal Health Expectations. It helped me organize my thoughts, and it was useful to put myself in the larger context of other women with metastatic breast cancer facing this sort of decision.
Even given all this, though, it really doesn't feel like I have much of a choice. I could stop all treatments and let the disease run its course. I could try an endocrine therapy that is unlikely to work. I could pursue alternative treatments, such as following the raw diet that is all the rage in a lot of popular cancer literature or taking lots of supplements and "natural" remedies when none of these has been proven or supported in the medical literature. Or I could pursue the treatment that represents the current paradigm in cancer medicine. And that's what I've decided to do.
I never thought I would agree to chemotherapy that is unlikely to cure my disease. But now that I have, I'm pretty committed to this course of action. Those of us born under the Aries horoscope sign tend to look for, and thrive on, challenges. My favourite astrologer, Jonathan Cainer, says that us Rams have the "tendency to create a life full of difficulty, just so that ... [we] ... always have something to sort out" ( www.cainer.com). He goes on to say that "there's nothing ... [we] ... can't tackle if ... [we] ... try." I'm now at a time when these traits, long bemoaned by those around me, should come in handy.
It feels like a fortuitous coincidence that, on the night before this challenge was presented to me, Dr. Robert Buckman was featured on CBC Radio's Ideas series. He is an oncologist who also lectures, and he wrote the book Cancer is a Word, Not a Sentence. Laughter, he says, is the second-best medicine. What is the first-best medicine, in his view? Medicine.
I'll have to remember that during my chemotherapy sessions, and as I try to keep my sense of humour intact throughout the next few months of treatment. My friend Margaret's daughter Anna has already offered to draw green eyebrows on my face to replace the ones I'll be losing. Maybe that will help in the humour department.
* Sue Hendler is a former member of the Whig-Standard's Community Editorial Board. She is contributing regular columns on her experiences while she travels her breast cancer journey.
http://www.kingstonwhigstandard.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1342637
So a decision had to be made. Do I try another hormone therapy such as an aromatase inhibitor, which tries to further eliminate the availability of estrogen to my cancer cells, or do I skip that and head directly to chemo therapy?
Given that my cancer hasn't responded that well to hormone therapy, an aromatase inhibitor is a possibility, but unlikely to be effective. And given that my cancer is chemo-naive (I wish I could go back to being chemo-naive), walloping it with a combination chemotherapy might halt the spread of cancer cells and actually reduce the tumour burden I now have.
I've always had mixed feelings about chemotherapy. For that matter, I 've a lways had mixed feelings about taking any sort of medication. But chemotherapy carries with it an especially large amount of baggage. I don't like the idea of beating down my immune system just when I need it most. I don't relish the injection of stuff that's so toxic, health-care providers have to protect themselves from being in contact with it. And I don't think too positively about the chance of experiencing intense side effects that could well make me weaker, not stronger, in the face of a terminal illness.
I've also read a lot of journal articles that suggest chemotherapy often doesn't significantly prolong the lives of those of us with metastatic breast cancer.
Researchers in Canada and Australia have come up with a decision aid for people facing these sorts of choices. It is in the form of a workbook in which information and questions are presented, and a decision-making structure is suggested. This structure is based on identifying positive factors, such as the possibility of living longer (and why this is important), an improvement of symptoms and a sense of empowerment in terms of doing something to actively fight the disease. One's responses to these factors can be weighed against what many of us see as the negative aspects of chemotherapy - such as uncomfortable and sometimes dangerous side effects, needing tests and having to go to the hospital frequently - and the fact that there is no guarantee the treatment will actually work.
While I haven't seen the actual workbook (it is still being evaluated in anticipation of its adoption by at least some oncologists), I have read a discussion about it in the journal Health Expectations. It helped me organize my thoughts, and it was useful to put myself in the larger context of other women with metastatic breast cancer facing this sort of decision.
Even given all this, though, it really doesn't feel like I have much of a choice. I could stop all treatments and let the disease run its course. I could try an endocrine therapy that is unlikely to work. I could pursue alternative treatments, such as following the raw diet that is all the rage in a lot of popular cancer literature or taking lots of supplements and "natural" remedies when none of these has been proven or supported in the medical literature. Or I could pursue the treatment that represents the current paradigm in cancer medicine. And that's what I've decided to do.
I never thought I would agree to chemotherapy that is unlikely to cure my disease. But now that I have, I'm pretty committed to this course of action. Those of us born under the Aries horoscope sign tend to look for, and thrive on, challenges. My favourite astrologer, Jonathan Cainer, says that us Rams have the "tendency to create a life full of difficulty, just so that ... [we] ... always have something to sort out" ( www.cainer.com). He goes on to say that "there's nothing ... [we] ... can't tackle if ... [we] ... try." I'm now at a time when these traits, long bemoaned by those around me, should come in handy.
It feels like a fortuitous coincidence that, on the night before this challenge was presented to me, Dr. Robert Buckman was featured on CBC Radio's Ideas series. He is an oncologist who also lectures, and he wrote the book Cancer is a Word, Not a Sentence. Laughter, he says, is the second-best medicine. What is the first-best medicine, in his view? Medicine.
I'll have to remember that during my chemotherapy sessions, and as I try to keep my sense of humour intact throughout the next few months of treatment. My friend Margaret's daughter Anna has already offered to draw green eyebrows on my face to replace the ones I'll be losing. Maybe that will help in the humour department.
* Sue Hendler is a former member of the Whig-Standard's Community Editorial Board. She is contributing regular columns on her experiences while she travels her breast cancer journey.
http://www.kingstonwhigstandard.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1342637
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I Like My Eggs SunnySide Up
Eggstra, Eggstra read all about it!!!!! ....the new e-book by Heather Pardon....
Are you feeling a bit scrambled in the frying pan of life? Feeling a case of the winter blahs? It's time to get crackin' and inject some fun and positivity into your life.......
On January 31st, Heather Parden (Urban Poling Coach, owner of the Wild Daisy B&B, Personal Trainer, and a familiar face at Bushtukah), will be ‘hatching’ her new book “I Like My Eggs Sunnyside Up – One Dozen Tips for Cooking up Positivity in the Frying Pan of Life”.
This book contains one dozen tips to help you live a positive life, including chapters such as Get Crackin', Managing Your Eggdom, Master Your Circle of Eggscellence and What to Do When Your Eggs Flip Over. You'll also learn about the previously unwritten and unknown story of Humpty Dumpty.
There are also bonus recipes and serving suggestions for enjoying your sunnyside up eggs. This book will be available in downloadable pdf format from Heather’s website as of Jan 31st. Cost of the book is $20 Cdn (payment via Paypal or payment via cheque details below) and during the month of February
I'll be donating 50% of proceeds to CHEO, the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario. You will also receive regular fundraising updates throughout February as well as additional tips and fun egg-related, positive photos and stories to help you keep things on the sunnyside. You are also invited to join the Facebook "I Like My Eggs SunnySide Up".If you wish to pre-purchase a copy of the book which will be sent to your inbox on Jan 28th, before it hatches publicly on Jan 31, or pay via cheque..... you can do so by sending a cheque (payable to "Wild Daisy") to:
52 Lorne Avenue
Please mark in the memo field "Eggs Book" and be sure to include your name and email address with your cheque so that you can be sure to receive the newsletter updates.
I hope this book helps you lead a positively sunnyside up eggsistence and that together, we can make a positive impact to benefit CHEO and the kids in our community,With warmth and thanks,
Heather Pardon
Wild Daisy Adventureprises
wilddaisy@rogers.com
My new website www.awilddaisy.com will be up and live as of Jan 30th.
Are you feeling a bit scrambled in the frying pan of life? Feeling a case of the winter blahs? It's time to get crackin' and inject some fun and positivity into your life.......
On January 31st, Heather Parden (Urban Poling Coach, owner of the Wild Daisy B&B, Personal Trainer, and a familiar face at Bushtukah), will be ‘hatching’ her new book “I Like My Eggs Sunnyside Up – One Dozen Tips for Cooking up Positivity in the Frying Pan of Life”.
This book contains one dozen tips to help you live a positive life, including chapters such as Get Crackin', Managing Your Eggdom, Master Your Circle of Eggscellence and What to Do When Your Eggs Flip Over. You'll also learn about the previously unwritten and unknown story of Humpty Dumpty.
There are also bonus recipes and serving suggestions for enjoying your sunnyside up eggs. This book will be available in downloadable pdf format from Heather’s website as of Jan 31st. Cost of the book is $20 Cdn (payment via Paypal or payment via cheque details below) and during the month of February
I'll be donating 50% of proceeds to CHEO, the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario. You will also receive regular fundraising updates throughout February as well as additional tips and fun egg-related, positive photos and stories to help you keep things on the sunnyside. You are also invited to join the Facebook "I Like My Eggs SunnySide Up".If you wish to pre-purchase a copy of the book which will be sent to your inbox on Jan 28th, before it hatches publicly on Jan 31, or pay via cheque..... you can do so by sending a cheque (payable to "Wild Daisy") to:
52 Lorne Avenue
Ottawa, ON K1R 7G7
Please mark in the memo field "Eggs Book" and be sure to include your name and email address with your cheque so that you can be sure to receive the newsletter updates.
I hope this book helps you lead a positively sunnyside up eggsistence and that together, we can make a positive impact to benefit CHEO and the kids in our community,With warmth and thanks,
Heather Pardon
Wild Daisy Adventureprises
wilddaisy@rogers.com
My new website www.awilddaisy.com will be up and live as of Jan 30th.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Yolaine's Memorial Service, by Elaine Scarboro
NOTES FOR YOLAINE’S MEMORIAL SERVICE
I am very pleased to share with you today my personal memories of Yolaine. I met her at a dragon boat practice and my first impression was that she was a calm and private person, but more importantly, determined and competitive.
She suddenly resented being in the back rows of the boat as she had just found out that’s where the inexperienced paddlers sit and wanted to know what she had to do to move up! I knew right away by her accent that she was a francophone, we hit it off immediately, I guess opposites do attract in this case too, she was far more serious and quiet and I’ve always been a Carol Burnett want a be comedienne. She always laughed at my antics, said it made her feel good which always pleased me.
Her calm and faith always impressed me, despite her diagnosis of metastatic cancer in 2005, she continued to be positive, strong and often told how her father was her guardian angel and watched over her from heaven. He gave her strength to fight. Yolaine loved angels, there is even a special room with a lovely fireplace with angels everywhere in their renovated home, barely completed, where she used to go to meditate and regain her inner strength. Every time I see an angel I think of Yolaine.
As someone else so eloquently put it Yolaine spoke her life, not through words, but by action. In 2006 she just decided one day to train on her own and do a half marathon, for those who don’t know that’s 21 kms and she was very proud to have achieved this goal. Very few people knew. She had the same devotion for dragon boating; even the last few years when she was not feeling her best, she would go to practices and smile radiantly, with the pleasure of being in the boat. That’s passion for life, that’s determination.
Last year at the Ottawa dragon boat festival, she was the Busting out Team’s honoured speaker at the flower ceremony. She came with her children to whom she was such a devoted and ever present Mom and spoke very movingly of her hope that her two daughters may live in a world without breast cancer. In the fall of 2007, between treatments, she found the strength to encourage my fundraising efforts for Breast Cancer Action by coming to my Halloween Costumed dance. I saw an angel from the corner of my eye and new instantly it was her, it brought tears to my eyes to know she was there. Kevin could not keep up with her requests for dancing so she danced with the wild Busting Out gang. She had a wonderful time!
In 2008 we had several lunches and time together. I seemed to always have the nack to call just when she got some bad news, or that her morale was low. I think her father conspired with God on that one! Miraculously, I always managed to make her laugh, and I truly feel blessed to know that I could comfort someone with so much courage and perseverance with my comedy.
One of the fondest memories those of us who attended the 2005 Breast Cancer Survivor festival in Vancouver have of Yolaine and the thousands of women there, is the life filled eyes and smiles, the sea of pink boas and a force united in survivorship. Her smile on that photo says it all, she was dancing, she was happy and that’s how she would like to be remembered.
Elaine Scarboro
I am very pleased to share with you today my personal memories of Yolaine. I met her at a dragon boat practice and my first impression was that she was a calm and private person, but more importantly, determined and competitive.
She suddenly resented being in the back rows of the boat as she had just found out that’s where the inexperienced paddlers sit and wanted to know what she had to do to move up! I knew right away by her accent that she was a francophone, we hit it off immediately, I guess opposites do attract in this case too, she was far more serious and quiet and I’ve always been a Carol Burnett want a be comedienne. She always laughed at my antics, said it made her feel good which always pleased me.
Her calm and faith always impressed me, despite her diagnosis of metastatic cancer in 2005, she continued to be positive, strong and often told how her father was her guardian angel and watched over her from heaven. He gave her strength to fight. Yolaine loved angels, there is even a special room with a lovely fireplace with angels everywhere in their renovated home, barely completed, where she used to go to meditate and regain her inner strength. Every time I see an angel I think of Yolaine.
As someone else so eloquently put it Yolaine spoke her life, not through words, but by action. In 2006 she just decided one day to train on her own and do a half marathon, for those who don’t know that’s 21 kms and she was very proud to have achieved this goal. Very few people knew. She had the same devotion for dragon boating; even the last few years when she was not feeling her best, she would go to practices and smile radiantly, with the pleasure of being in the boat. That’s passion for life, that’s determination.
Last year at the Ottawa dragon boat festival, she was the Busting out Team’s honoured speaker at the flower ceremony. She came with her children to whom she was such a devoted and ever present Mom and spoke very movingly of her hope that her two daughters may live in a world without breast cancer. In the fall of 2007, between treatments, she found the strength to encourage my fundraising efforts for Breast Cancer Action by coming to my Halloween Costumed dance. I saw an angel from the corner of my eye and new instantly it was her, it brought tears to my eyes to know she was there. Kevin could not keep up with her requests for dancing so she danced with the wild Busting Out gang. She had a wonderful time!
In 2008 we had several lunches and time together. I seemed to always have the nack to call just when she got some bad news, or that her morale was low. I think her father conspired with God on that one! Miraculously, I always managed to make her laugh, and I truly feel blessed to know that I could comfort someone with so much courage and perseverance with my comedy.
One of the fondest memories those of us who attended the 2005 Breast Cancer Survivor festival in Vancouver have of Yolaine and the thousands of women there, is the life filled eyes and smiles, the sea of pink boas and a force united in survivorship. Her smile on that photo says it all, she was dancing, she was happy and that’s how she would like to be remembered.
Elaine Scarboro
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Meridy
When was your original diagnosis?
January 23, 2008
When did the cancer return and how?
While undergoing chemo from March 2008 - July 2008, I had an MRI which showed "lights" on the liver. After I finished chemo, I had a liver biopsy which confirmed these were cancerous and so I assume I had the metastacies simultaneously with the breast tumour.
How did having the cancer return affect you? (Mentally, physically, emotionally)
After being told by the oncologist I had a life expectancy of between 1 and 2 years, I was stunned for about two weeks, and couldn't stop thinking every waking minute that I was going to die. This affected my plans for the future, my interest in current events, my ability to concentrate or care about trivial matters.
What changes have you made in your life since the cancer returned, if any?
After the initital shock, my optimism returned and I have spoken to some people who are living with metastatic cancer, much the same as mine (breast to liver), who have been maintaining a good quality of life for 4 or more years. I now find that I am not constantly thinking about it. I am also devouring books by Bernie S. Siegel MD, about the mind/body connection. I think his approach of self healing - positive thinking, visualisation, guided imagery, avoidance of stress, relaxation - and partnering with the medical profession, is the route I believe is possible for me to follow, rather than making huge changes to my diet or lifestyle. I am undertaking sessions with a Social Worker at the Cancer Centre. I fully intend to discuss all options with my oncologist, rather than accepting the severe medical solution, and I am not accepting the prognosis but am determined to be one of the people at the good end of the spectrum.
Where do you draw your strength from? How do you look at life today?
I get my strength from my friends and the goodness that people display, especially those who have been on this journey. It is easy for me to be positive today because I feel well; it is harder to be optimistic when dealing with side-effects.
I have a one month plan, a one year plan and a five year plan. I try to stay very focussed on the next goal - a trip to Florida in February, a trip to Italy in September.
Do you have any advice for others with a recurrence?
Read Bernie Siegel's books. Know that cancer has become a chronic disease, and patients can be treated for years, thus buying time for a cure, or better/kinder treatment options and procedures. Be kind to yourself, do not repress emotions - find an outlet (counselling, support group). Do not give up hope.
Anything else to add?
A quote I read in my new best friend's (Bernie) book: "When I found out I was going to die, I began to live."
January 23, 2008
When did the cancer return and how?
While undergoing chemo from March 2008 - July 2008, I had an MRI which showed "lights" on the liver. After I finished chemo, I had a liver biopsy which confirmed these were cancerous and so I assume I had the metastacies simultaneously with the breast tumour.
How did having the cancer return affect you? (Mentally, physically, emotionally)
After being told by the oncologist I had a life expectancy of between 1 and 2 years, I was stunned for about two weeks, and couldn't stop thinking every waking minute that I was going to die. This affected my plans for the future, my interest in current events, my ability to concentrate or care about trivial matters.
What changes have you made in your life since the cancer returned, if any?
After the initital shock, my optimism returned and I have spoken to some people who are living with metastatic cancer, much the same as mine (breast to liver), who have been maintaining a good quality of life for 4 or more years. I now find that I am not constantly thinking about it. I am also devouring books by Bernie S. Siegel MD, about the mind/body connection. I think his approach of self healing - positive thinking, visualisation, guided imagery, avoidance of stress, relaxation - and partnering with the medical profession, is the route I believe is possible for me to follow, rather than making huge changes to my diet or lifestyle. I am undertaking sessions with a Social Worker at the Cancer Centre. I fully intend to discuss all options with my oncologist, rather than accepting the severe medical solution, and I am not accepting the prognosis but am determined to be one of the people at the good end of the spectrum.
Where do you draw your strength from? How do you look at life today?
I get my strength from my friends and the goodness that people display, especially those who have been on this journey. It is easy for me to be positive today because I feel well; it is harder to be optimistic when dealing with side-effects.
I have a one month plan, a one year plan and a five year plan. I try to stay very focussed on the next goal - a trip to Florida in February, a trip to Italy in September.
Do you have any advice for others with a recurrence?
Read Bernie Siegel's books. Know that cancer has become a chronic disease, and patients can be treated for years, thus buying time for a cure, or better/kinder treatment options and procedures. Be kind to yourself, do not repress emotions - find an outlet (counselling, support group). Do not give up hope.
Anything else to add?
A quote I read in my new best friend's (Bernie) book: "When I found out I was going to die, I began to live."
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Susan
I was diagnosed in August 2003 with sarcoma, which is a fairly rare cancer of the soft tissue and the bone. The cancer was in the quad muscles of my right leg. In 2003-04, I was treated with surgery, radiation and chemo and told that I had a good prognosis. But in October 2005, the cancer reappeared in the same place.
In Kingston, where I live, they said they'd have to amputate, but they referred me to Toronto to see if the doctors at Princess Margaret could save my leg. At Mt Sinai Hospital, in a complicated 13-hour operation, they removed the cancer, leaving the leg. Just six weeks later, however, they told me the cancer had spread. They removed a lot of tumours from my lungs shortly after.
Almost immediately, the cancer recurred in the lungs and they operated several more times. Then, in mid-October 2007, they discovered a tumour in a "tricky" place - near the heart, etc. - which they could not remove. They offered me palliative chemo to"stave off the symptoms". But the chemo worked "dramatically" and I'm still alive. I'm back at work.
My tool for living with this situation is meditation. I took a ten-day Vipassana course in March 2004 before my first chemo because I needed a tool to deal with the anger and resentment I had about being sick. I've practised meditation even since. I've done five more ten-day courses to learn to focus my mind. My mind is all I have to respond to this ongoing situation. I am happy to see the beginning of 2009, something I did not expect one year ago.
I'm grateful for this to Drs. Blackstein, Catton and Ferguson at the Sarcoma Clinic at Princess Margaret Hospital. I do not think about 2010. I don't look forward or back, and I live my life simply, ordinarily, for what I have at the moment.
Read more from Susan at Simplicity and Silence.
In Kingston, where I live, they said they'd have to amputate, but they referred me to Toronto to see if the doctors at Princess Margaret could save my leg. At Mt Sinai Hospital, in a complicated 13-hour operation, they removed the cancer, leaving the leg. Just six weeks later, however, they told me the cancer had spread. They removed a lot of tumours from my lungs shortly after.
Almost immediately, the cancer recurred in the lungs and they operated several more times. Then, in mid-October 2007, they discovered a tumour in a "tricky" place - near the heart, etc. - which they could not remove. They offered me palliative chemo to"stave off the symptoms". But the chemo worked "dramatically" and I'm still alive. I'm back at work.
My tool for living with this situation is meditation. I took a ten-day Vipassana course in March 2004 before my first chemo because I needed a tool to deal with the anger and resentment I had about being sick. I've practised meditation even since. I've done five more ten-day courses to learn to focus my mind. My mind is all I have to respond to this ongoing situation. I am happy to see the beginning of 2009, something I did not expect one year ago.
I'm grateful for this to Drs. Blackstein, Catton and Ferguson at the Sarcoma Clinic at Princess Margaret Hospital. I do not think about 2010. I don't look forward or back, and I live my life simply, ordinarily, for what I have at the moment.
Read more from Susan at Simplicity and Silence.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Brenda
When was your original diagnosis?
Dec. 18, 1997
When did the cancer return and how?
May 1999 - another lump same breast. Sept 1999 - lump on chest wall after mastectomy and while still on chemo
How did having the cancer return affect you? (Mentally, physically, emotionally)
Second reoccurence was more devastating than the first as I had done everything I had to do - chemo & radiation - and handled it well. The third reoccurence was less devastating and more of "what do I need to do now" and "please tell me there is a treatment you can offer me".
What changes have you made in your life since the cancer returned, if any?
More positive outlook and not so stresed about the things in life that are not life-threatening. Regardless of the weather - I am always happy to see each day.
Where do you draw your strength from?
Internally - I always asked myself what would be more difficult to handle. I am very thankful that it was not my children that diagnosed - that would alot worse. It was not my 14 year old daughter's hair that was falling out. I was always thankful that I was not in pain like so many people with other conditions/diagnoses.
How do you look at life today?
Life is to be respected and lived. Live in the moment and not in the future. Sometimes we miss the present as we are striving to get to the future where we think it will so much "greener". We know where we are now but not where we will be tomorrow. Don't miss today.
Do you have any advice for others with a recurrence?
First, give yourself time to grieve and do not feel guilty. If you do not grieve you cannot move on. You also need the time to absorb and sort it all through in your mind. People cannot do that for you. Tell well meaning people that you need some alone time to get used to the whole ordeal.
Secondly, do not get stuck in the grieving phase. Do not feel you have to continue grieving - move on to helping yourself. Do what you have to do to get your life back. Remember this is your life and if you are going to go through chemo and radiation again, it is because you want your life back. When you are unwell, rest and ask for help. When you are feeling better - live your life and continue to do for yourself. Think positively and live everyday as if it is your last (although it isn't).
Anything else to add?
Cancer is a very devastating disease but it does not need to be a life sentence. The support you can receive from other breast cancer survivors is amazing - these are wonderful strong women who are the best people one can ever know. Use their strength and support until you are strong enough to help other women. Do not ever give up.
Dec. 18, 1997
When did the cancer return and how?
May 1999 - another lump same breast. Sept 1999 - lump on chest wall after mastectomy and while still on chemo
How did having the cancer return affect you? (Mentally, physically, emotionally)
Second reoccurence was more devastating than the first as I had done everything I had to do - chemo & radiation - and handled it well. The third reoccurence was less devastating and more of "what do I need to do now" and "please tell me there is a treatment you can offer me".
What changes have you made in your life since the cancer returned, if any?
More positive outlook and not so stresed about the things in life that are not life-threatening. Regardless of the weather - I am always happy to see each day.
Where do you draw your strength from?
Internally - I always asked myself what would be more difficult to handle. I am very thankful that it was not my children that diagnosed - that would alot worse. It was not my 14 year old daughter's hair that was falling out. I was always thankful that I was not in pain like so many people with other conditions/diagnoses.
How do you look at life today?
Life is to be respected and lived. Live in the moment and not in the future. Sometimes we miss the present as we are striving to get to the future where we think it will so much "greener". We know where we are now but not where we will be tomorrow. Don't miss today.
Do you have any advice for others with a recurrence?
First, give yourself time to grieve and do not feel guilty. If you do not grieve you cannot move on. You also need the time to absorb and sort it all through in your mind. People cannot do that for you. Tell well meaning people that you need some alone time to get used to the whole ordeal.
Secondly, do not get stuck in the grieving phase. Do not feel you have to continue grieving - move on to helping yourself. Do what you have to do to get your life back. Remember this is your life and if you are going to go through chemo and radiation again, it is because you want your life back. When you are unwell, rest and ask for help. When you are feeling better - live your life and continue to do for yourself. Think positively and live everyday as if it is your last (although it isn't).
Anything else to add?
Cancer is a very devastating disease but it does not need to be a life sentence. The support you can receive from other breast cancer survivors is amazing - these are wonderful strong women who are the best people one can ever know. Use their strength and support until you are strong enough to help other women. Do not ever give up.
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