Wisdom from Patricia

Over the past 10 years, members of our support group have continued to struggle with issues related to cancer, including recurrence. Patricia has not been exempt from those struggles. In 2001, while studying Music Thanatology (prescriptive harp music as palliative care for the dying) in Missoula, Montana, she had a local recurrence and underwent a mastectomy. Now living in Victoria, she has had another recurrence, this time in her axilla (armpit).

A few of the many things that Patricia has taught me:

Find your own way to focus on what’s important. For Patricia, that includes yoga, the practice of Chi Gong and spending time at an ashram. What works for one person may not work for another. Walk in nature; sit on a hillside overlooking the ocean; explore alternative ways of caring for your mind, body and spirit.

Trust your body’s wisdom. Patricia teaches Dream Yoga, which involves using guidance from your dreams to develop a spiritual path. Sometimes friends and family can have an idea of what we should do, but we need to trust our own instincts and be clear on what we want so others can support us.

Life is precious. ‘Live for the moment’ has been said so many times that it sounds cliché. While all humans have the same condition – we are all going to die eventually - few of us live each day with that knowledge as our guide. Having cancer challenges us to live life NOW. We have to straddle the chasm between knowing that we have cancer and getting on with life. This awareness sharpens our sense of living; our relationships with children, friends, family become sharp, brilliant and precious.

Don’t make decisions based on fear. Fear is natural when dealing with cancer; doctors use words like ‘recurrence’ and ‘metastatic’ and ‘palliative’. Information on the internet can be terrifying. Keeping the fear hidden inside can magnify it. Patricia’s openness about her fears has taught me to deal with what I refer to as ‘the dark side’ and find space that’s not fearful that I can make decisions from.

The war on cancer doesn’t always have to be violent. Patricia pointed out to me that, even though we use the term ‘fight fire with fire’, we actually use water to fight fire, and use fire only as last resort. As an example, my friend Mary has found a way to peacefully live in the same body with the tumors in her lungs.

Patricia recently lost her beloved dog Kelly to cancer and continues to search for meaning in grief, loss and life. I hope to spend a week at an ashram in southeastern BC with Patricia this fall, where I know I will continue to learn so much from my ‘bosom buddy’ Patricia.

Namaste means:
I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides.
I honor the place in you of Love of Light of Truth of Peace.
I honor the place within you
where if you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me,
There is only one of us.

Namaste Patricia