When was your original diagnosis? When did the cancer return and how?
Original diagnosis 1993. Lumpectomy chemo radiation. Four years later a routine exam uncovered a thickening in the same breast, which turned out to be 2 tumors of a different sort than the first. After another 4 years a little lump on my chest wall turned out to be another tumor. Four years from that diagnosis I held my breath for almost the entire year.
How did having the cancer return affect you? (Mentally, physically, emotionally)
Having had no personal experience with cancer of any sort i was floored by the diagnosis. At first it was all about the kids. They were young (11 and 14) and I felt guilty about putting them in such a position. I didn't have much support so floundered for quite some time in an almost surreal state of terror. The first few months were like a nightmare. Then, as with anything, you adjust and begin to work with your new reality.
With the last 2 recurrences the freak out times were shorter and the transition to positive, constructive behaviors was much smoother. Practice makes perfect.
What changes have you made in your life since the cancer returned, if any?
After the first diagnosis I swore off meat, wine, coffee, sugar, dairy products etc, etc. When the cancer returned I tried even harder. The third time I kind of reconsidered and decided a beer and a hamburger may be good for my soul if not my body.
Since the beginning I have been jumping on and off bandwagons. I tried acupuncture, Chinese herbs, reiki, vitamin supplements, visualization, relaxation, psychotherapy, homeopathy etc. It's interesting, enlightening and gives a sense of control. The best bandwagon ever is physical fitness. This has changed my life on so many levels. I think it has been my salvation.
I had a bucket list long before Jack Nicholson. At first it was pretty basic - watch my kids grow up, see Newfoundland. It has evolved into something that will take a very long time to complete. It also now includes physical challenges for myself that I wouldn't have even considered BC. As I check off items I had new ones at the end. This is a never-ending list.
Where do you draw your strength from? How do you look at life today?
I think my strength comes from within. But it's the influence of the strong, positive, supportive friends that surround me that has made me realize that the strength is indeed there. I don't think I knew that before.
Do you have any advice for others with a recurrence?
The most helpful thing you can do for yourself is seek the company of others in the same boat who are living life to the fullest. Surround yourself with positive energy and enjoy each day. And never say "no" to an adventure.
Anything else to add?
I look at life as a gift-full of surprises and opportunities. I feel stronger and more confident. Seldom will I refuse the offer of an adventure. In the past few years I've run a half marathon, ripped down zip lines, skied in shorts, skinny dipped, etc. Sometimes in the midst of one of these adventures, surrounded by kindred spirits and the beauty of nature I am overcome by a feeling of utter peace. In these moments I realize that I have found heaven on earth. This is the silver lining.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Alice
My original diagnosis of breast cancer was in January 2002 and it was caught through a mammogram and a physical check. It was a small lump, lobular invasive but I was fortunate in that there was no lymph node involvement. I had a lumpectomy in February and radiation in April. In March I went to the Dominican Republic for a week with my husband and daughter and in May I went to Greece and Turkey for 3 weeks. It was very successful. Dr. Mark Hardy was my surgeon and Dr. Keller my oncologist. I took tamoxifen for 5 years and saw each doctor once a year. I finished my tamoxifen in the summer of 2007 and was put on Evista. In September-October 2007 I started dragonboating in 2005 and I was fortunate to be part of the group going to the International Festival in Australia in 2007.
In December 2007 I started noticing changes in my right breast, the same one that the cancer was in in 2002. It was shrinking and lumpy. Since my mammogram was scheduled for January 2008 I waited for that. After that I had an ultrasound and an MRI and the MRI showed a lesion in the right breast and probably cancer in the bones. After a biopsy and a bone scan, my oncologist sent me to a new surgeon Dr Chadwick as Dr Hardy had left Ottawa . Dr Chadwick was sure it was a recurring cancer and wanted the bones treated first before he would think of doing surgery. So back to the oncologist who did a CT scan and the decision was to treat with chemo. Dr Keller believes it is a new primary although it is in the same breast and lobular invasive. I started chemo March 14 and have now had 2 sessions, will be finished June 27.
The cancer return was a shock initially but it was more the fact that it was Stage 4 metastatic. The binder I was given at the Breast Health Centre had the same stories as six years ago and there was only one on Stage 4 and it was very depressing. I read up a bit but decided I had to stay positive and not read too much and just get treated and be hopeful and get support from others on the dragonboat team I knew were going through this stage. The other negative thing was the way the oncologist handled it. He was very kind but he left a message on my phone at work and it was frightening. I was also not happy with the way the surgeon handled our meeting. He was rushed and impatient and the news was very surprising as it was much more definite than what I had been told by the oncologist. The only time I have cried though is at the surgeon”s and that night when I tried to tell my choir. It was still so fresh in my mind. Physically I am doing very well. Even the hair loss was not too big a shock as I figure it will grow back and in the scheme of things it is not such a big deal. I have a wig that looks good and I am actually quite comfortable without it as well. Emotionally I am coping very well as I have a tremendous amount of support and feel physically well most of the time except for a few days when I am more tired. I am trying to pace myself a bit more.
The changes I have made to my life are to concentrate on getting well more thus I am working less in my job, hardly working at all at home as I have the support, pacing myself with more rest, drinking much less wine , drinking a lot more water and ensuring I get my exercise.
I draw my strength from all the support I have, my husband, my family, my dragonbaot team, my walking group, other friends, my church and choir, my neighbours, my bookclub and so may friends in and out of town who send me emails and cards and flowers and phone me. I also love to read and to listen to music and watch some of my TV shows.
I look at life today with hope and joy at being alive, feeling good physically, being able to go for long walks, continuing my paddling, looking forward to the paddling outside and the festivals and the summer which is my favorite season. I have always been a positive person and love to help others and I am getting all of that back now through all the support. This is also true of my work situation where I have been very supported even though I have not been there long.
My advice to others with a recurrence is to stay positive, have someone with you when you see the medical professionals, don”t read too much that is negative, stay as healthy as you can, accept support from others, don”t work too hard and be good to yourself. Enjoy each day and don”t think too far ahead.
Alice
In December 2007 I started noticing changes in my right breast, the same one that the cancer was in in 2002. It was shrinking and lumpy. Since my mammogram was scheduled for January 2008 I waited for that. After that I had an ultrasound and an MRI and the MRI showed a lesion in the right breast and probably cancer in the bones. After a biopsy and a bone scan, my oncologist sent me to a new surgeon Dr Chadwick as Dr Hardy had left Ottawa . Dr Chadwick was sure it was a recurring cancer and wanted the bones treated first before he would think of doing surgery. So back to the oncologist who did a CT scan and the decision was to treat with chemo. Dr Keller believes it is a new primary although it is in the same breast and lobular invasive. I started chemo March 14 and have now had 2 sessions, will be finished June 27.
The cancer return was a shock initially but it was more the fact that it was Stage 4 metastatic. The binder I was given at the Breast Health Centre had the same stories as six years ago and there was only one on Stage 4 and it was very depressing. I read up a bit but decided I had to stay positive and not read too much and just get treated and be hopeful and get support from others on the dragonboat team I knew were going through this stage. The other negative thing was the way the oncologist handled it. He was very kind but he left a message on my phone at work and it was frightening. I was also not happy with the way the surgeon handled our meeting. He was rushed and impatient and the news was very surprising as it was much more definite than what I had been told by the oncologist. The only time I have cried though is at the surgeon”s and that night when I tried to tell my choir. It was still so fresh in my mind. Physically I am doing very well. Even the hair loss was not too big a shock as I figure it will grow back and in the scheme of things it is not such a big deal. I have a wig that looks good and I am actually quite comfortable without it as well. Emotionally I am coping very well as I have a tremendous amount of support and feel physically well most of the time except for a few days when I am more tired. I am trying to pace myself a bit more.
The changes I have made to my life are to concentrate on getting well more thus I am working less in my job, hardly working at all at home as I have the support, pacing myself with more rest, drinking much less wine , drinking a lot more water and ensuring I get my exercise.
I draw my strength from all the support I have, my husband, my family, my dragonbaot team, my walking group, other friends, my church and choir, my neighbours, my bookclub and so may friends in and out of town who send me emails and cards and flowers and phone me. I also love to read and to listen to music and watch some of my TV shows.
I look at life today with hope and joy at being alive, feeling good physically, being able to go for long walks, continuing my paddling, looking forward to the paddling outside and the festivals and the summer which is my favorite season. I have always been a positive person and love to help others and I am getting all of that back now through all the support. This is also true of my work situation where I have been very supported even though I have not been there long.
My advice to others with a recurrence is to stay positive, have someone with you when you see the medical professionals, don”t read too much that is negative, stay as healthy as you can, accept support from others, don”t work too hard and be good to yourself. Enjoy each day and don”t think too far ahead.
Alice
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